The Little Brown Spot
Monday, February 16, 2009
By: Christina Hausauer

The story of a malignant melanoma on my shoulder...a little brown spot.

My story, in comparison to others, is somewhat boring....thankfully.

One day, while living in Dawson City, Yukon, I was outside enjoying a sunny day with my then two year old daughter. I went in to the house to cool off and put my hair up, and noticed a little brown dot that I had never seen before. I had to go to my doctor for an unrelated appointment the same week, so I had her take a look at it.

Her words, which I will never forget, were,"Oh it looks just like a freckle, but if you are unsure about it, we can take it off and send it away, no problem". So she went and got a little knife and a bandaid, cut the little brown dot out, and that was it! Quick, painless, and really insignificant. I asked her, "If there are any results, when should I expect them?". She replied, "If it's bad news, you will hear from me within 10 days (because we were 6 hours from the lab in Whitehorse)...but if there's no news you won't hear from me at all". Three days later she called and asked me to come in for a visit.

When I arrived at the clinic, she herself had tears in her eyes, and apologized to me. She said to me, "I honestly didn't think there was anything wrong, but its malignant". "We have to send you to Whitehorse for an excision to remove the surrounding cells and to check your lymphnodes to see if it has spread". At this point, I couldn't speak...there was literally no moisture in my throat or mouth, and my heart was pounding so loudly in my head I couldn't hear what she was saying to me. All I could think about was my little girl, and my unfinished life....

Long story short, with a nasty surgery to remove the surrounding tissue and the wait for the lymphnode tests, which came back negative, thank goodness, it was all over....I got my life back, felt 100 percent better, enjoyed every moment with my baby girl and husband and felt like a thousand pound weight had been lifted off of me.
A few years later a pap test came back with bad cells.........and the fear returned.

I am very fortunate that I have never undergone extensive treatments and I give full congratulations and kudos to those survivors that have undergone the treatments. I have seen my mother-in-law go through it all, I have other members within my family that went through both chemo and radiation, and sometimes, I wonder if I would have been able to go through all that.

These are the reasons I relay. I don't want to see people in my life go through the hell that is cancer anymore. It's so unfair that a disease can be so debilitating and consume not only your body, your mind, and the people around you. It's a terrifying monster, that if I had to face as a child, as many children do, would haunt me forever. As an adult, it haunts me forever, and I survived it.

There are many of us who have survived, as there are many people out there who are responsible for our survival. They gave support, understanding, care, nourishment and love to us, and they should be celebrated just as the survivors are celebrated. Through Relay for Life, there is, I believe, hope that we can find a cure and better treatments for this disease. It is also a beautiful way to remember the loved ones we lost.

The luminary ceremony is so amazing and it brings everyone together for the same reason....to Celebrate....Remember...and Fight Back!