I survived while my 33 year old daughter lost her battle? Why?
Monday, May 11, 2009
By: Juanita Mckenzie

Life and Death. I was to live and survive my cancer while my beautiful 33 year old daughter died March 9, 2009 from her cancer.

I guess this is a story of survival and loss.

I was diagnosed with kidney cancer six years ago. I lost my right kidney and have been cancer free for 6 years. My 33 year old daughter,wife and mother to five children was diagnosed with colorectal liver cancer 2 years ago. She passed away in my arms March 9, 2009. Right now I have survivors grief. Why did I live and she died? But I guess God is the only one that has that answer.

Let me introduce my daughter. Beautiful newly married WestJet attendant. Her husband is an architect, they have a new home, the world at their feet. Then she calls me to say she is constipated.

By the time she was diagnosed, about two weeks later, it was already in her liver. Colorectal cancer! She endured chemo, trial chemo, collapsed lungs, punctured lungs, bloodclots, colonoscopy, resection of bowels. Chest tubes drained every second day. Many, many procedure, but she would call me and never complain. I would visit many times. She had hoped she would beat this!

But then she suffered more bad news. Cancer had spread to her lungs and chest wall. Possibly her brain. She began losing weight. We went out in January, we had to get our nails done. She insisted against my better judgement. She got sick there. It was the last time she would drive her new truck her husband bought her or even go out.

Her body was too weak to carry on. Every second day of her life for 4 months she was getting her lungs drained and fighting for her life. Family was getting too hard for her. She was tired. She was in so much pain. She died in my arms 3 weeks later. I miss her desperately. She was and always will be an inspiration to me.

My heart is gone ... My soul is with her. I wish it were me ...