You've caused so much pain
Monday, July 25, 2011
By: Brian Appel

The loss that I've faced with losing both my grandparents to cancer, my mother currently fighting cancer, and the possibly of cancer in my future.

On April 28, 1997, my grandpa Harvey finally lost his long battle with cancer. It was lymphoma that finally got him, although he'd fought melanoma on and off for years before. He was a tall, broad-shouldered man with a booming voice. When I was a little boy, he would take my hand while we went for an evening walk and he would answer any question I had for him. He would always talk to me like I was his equal. In a matter of months, cancer reduced him to a gaunt, frail shadow of himself. He deteriorated so quickly that sometimes, when I visited him in the hospital, I almost didn't recognize him. He was 74.
On January 10, 2000, my grandma Gloria was taken by bowel cancer. Two days later, I celebrated my 18th birthday. It wasn't a happy one. My grandma was always a ball of energy - always on the go - and always had an opinion on something or other. Cancer made her meek, frail and sedentary. It sapped her energy and ended her life. She was only 70.
I thought that was the last that I'd see of that evil disease for quite a while...
But six years ago, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She wasn't even 60 yet. She had a full hysterectomy and aggressive chemo, and finally scans and tests said she was clean of it.
Then, two years later, it came back and had spread to her bowels. She had part of her bowel removed and started aggressive chemo again. Her hair had finally all grown back, and then it fell out all over again. After that was done, tests showed that the cancer was gone again.
A year later, the cancer returned and she was put back on chemo. This time it didn't go away, but it didn't seem to spread. She continued regiments of chemo on and off ever since.
A few days ago, she told me tests showed that the cancer has not only not responded to the chemo, but it was spread to her liver and spleen. Doctors say that they're not prepared to give a prognosis yet; that there are still drugs that they think might work and action that can be taken to stop it from spreading further; even that might send it away again. But her health seems to be declining. She suffers from nausea and fatigue most days. The energy seems to be out of her voice. She's becoming very discouraged. I never would have imagined that my mother might be taken from me by this horrible condition; especially not now, when she's still young. I beg her to keep fighting, keep being strong and not letting it beat her.
I also have to face the fact that one day I will very likely have to face my own diagnosis. Who knows what cancer research will be like then, or even if cancer will still exist at that point. I want to fight. I will fight! We have to destroy this plague on innocent Canadians. For my grandpa and grandma, for my mom, and for me.