My brave husband
Friday, January 4, 2013
By: Martha Hendrikx

My husband was diagnosed with a brain stem tumour after losing over 100 pounds in 6 weeks!

In August 2009, my husband thought he had a touch of stomach flu and started throwing up. Over the next 6 weeks, he lost over 100 pounds!! An amazing Dr in the urgent care clinic finally ordered a CT scan when Mark was in because his mouth was bleeding. The acid from his stomach ate the lining of his lips. The Dr ordered a CT scan, they didn't even let us out of the hospital and sent us for an MRI scan. The next day we saw our own Dr who informed us of the tumour and the very next day we were meeting the neurosurgeon at Sunnybrook Hospital in Toronto, discussing Mark's brain surgery for 7 days from then...By then Mark couldn't move without falling over and he was so weak.
Over the next 4 months, we drove into Toronto daily for radiation therapy and neurosurgeon appointments and oncologist appointments. Through all of this, Mark remained strong in spirit and believed he would beat this.

Being a self employed accountant, Mark used his head for work. As the tumour was receding, his eyesight got worse, a side effect of the radiation we were told. He had massive headaches,eyesight problems, could not walk, was in a wheelchair, slept many hours a day, whistling bothered him immensely,could not go upstairs to bathe(we used the showers at our gym..they were so understanding!!) and could only keep milk, Life brand cereal and canned stew down(got a lot of flack from people about that..our mantra was "it was staying down, we'll worry about nutrition contents later!")...yet he still went to work each day with a positive attitude.

We got through Tax Season and Mark was able to spend some time at home. He seemed to be getting better and was so happy when we returned the wheelchair to the rental place. Then a routine followup showed a swelling at the tunour site, which is also common. As they cannot re-radiate, the oncologists wanted to keep an eye on it. 2 months later, it had enlarged and they decided after the bi-monthly MRI to try to attack it with Chemotherapy. Immediately he got very ill. The Dr's were confused as it wasn't a Chemo reaction. Mark deteriorated very quickly in the month of July 2010. We had home care nurses, physiotherapy and me and our 5 kids.Everyday he wanted to go to the gym and do something so his muscles wouldn't atrophy, so he went on the upright bike because we could strap him in so he wouldn't fall over. Back into the wheelchair he went.

At the beginning of August Mark was having a very hard time breathing, and actually allowed me to take him to the hospital. He had pneumonia. He was admitted on Sun Aug 7th, another MRI was done Thursday and the tumour had returned despite the Chemo and had completely encircled his brain stem and was choking the nerves that controlled his breathing in his lungs.The Dr gave him 2 weeks to live, and he passed away 5 days later.

I learned how strong my husband was. His faith sustained him and he was not afraid to die. He planned his own funeral and obituary, he dictated letters to his 2 best friends and he had long talks(when he could talk) with each of our kids. He just wanted to love us as long as he could, and he did a fantastic job. Our kids were ages 10-17 when he passed away and we all struggled, but we know he is guiding us all from Heaven.

He is sorely missed by us, his family, his friends and clients. ]

We Relay so other families won't have to go through this!