Over the past several weeks there have been a number of goodies in my office.
Cake, sundaes, nanaimo bars, chips... I have tried to have just salad but the onslaught of sweet and savoury delights have been too much for me to resist.
But now my sins have caught up with me. I have been charged with one count of EXCESSIVE CONSUMPTION OF TREATS IN THE FIRST DEGREE and one count of AGGRAVATED SUNDAE FOR LUNCH IN THE SECOND DEGREE.
Members of Military Police Unit (Esquimalt) have been instructed to arrest me on TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18.
I’ve tried to reason with these people – THE SUNDAES HAD MINIATURE GUMMY BEARS! – but it’s no good. My only hope is if you support the Cops for Cancer Jail & Bail and help spring me from the Brig!
They’ve set my bail at $500, which goes toward the Canadian Cancer Society Cops for Cancer Tour de Rock.Two members of CFB Esquimalt – MPU (E)’s Sub-Lieutenant Antoine Leblanc and firefighter Matt Arnsdorf – are taking part in this epic annual fundraiser that helps kids on Vancouver Island who are battling cancer.
How will I make bail? Donate here or contact my appointed counsel, Lieutenant (Navy) Riley Monsour at firstname.lastname@example.org. All donations are eligible for a tax receipt.
Thank you so much for your support and, as Sylvester Stallone says in the classic Lock Up, ‘You can’t break me!’