The event that changed my life.
Friday, April 6, 2012
By: Tracy Tallari

How denial could of cost me my life.

Here I was 36 years old. It was just before mother's day 2009, when one day while taking a little extra time under the hot water in the shower I felt a big lump in my breast. Of course I thought nothing of it. it was noticeable , but I thought well maybe it's just a cystic lump of fluid. No one in my family has ever had breast cancer, so it can't be that, but I'll make an appointment. And I didn't, in my mind it was nothing. About 2 weeks go by and I am at my parents for mother's day supper, I asked my mom to feel the lump and get her opinion, because mothers know best. she looks at me with these wide eyes and says "oh, Tracy you need to go get that checked as soon as possible, get to the doctors". I was like well ok, mom thinks it's worth getting it checked out. I didn't wait for the doctor's appointment instead the next day I went to the emergency dept and a doctor looked me over, and said he was setting up a mammogram, and ultra sound, 2 weeks later I was being sent for a biopsy, 2 weeks later I was in a surgeons office June 29th, 2009 to be exact to be told I had breast cancer, and it was aggressive. I remember the sound in the doctor's voice, his exact words, the smell in the room, even the small water stain on the tile above my head as he's giving my breast a feel. Here it is my worst fears, guess it wasn't just nothing, but boy did I wish it was. Then I hoping and praying my denial and stupidity didn't give this cancer long enough to spread .
I was schedule for surgery July 15th, 2009, then more waiting to hear if they got it all, did it spread to my lymph nodes...I got lucky it didn't spread, I caught it early enough. Then next would come 6 months of chemo (lost my hair within 2 weeks of my 1st chemo) and 6 weeks of radiation. This year will be 3 years since my diagnosis and I am doing great. With the support of my family I made it through my treatments, the pain, depression, and the anger. But I am here to keep living and fighting for a cure. I will always remember and will never forget the demon that changed my life forever.